Archive for September, 2008

Dear mom,

September 17, 2008

I really missing my mom right now. I head back to Rhode Island tomorrow after my classes for a doctors appointment and then I’m heading back again for the weekend because she’s leaving for Egypt for 2 weeks. I’m going to feel a little lonely once she leaves, but I won’t tell her that because I don’t want her to feel sad or feel bad for leaving. I’ve been thinking about my mom lately and how when I grow up, I actually want to be a strong woman like her. I should tell her this because it’s something she deserves to hear. I know in the past, being a teenager and all, I have done selfish things. Being ungrateful at times. Wanting to spend unnecessary money on stupid, little things. Also, what really made me think about her is every time I open a chemistry or biology book and cram in information for the nursing program. My mom is a nurse and had to go through the same exact thing I’m going through. The stress of the books, the stress of the school, etc. But what makes my mom a stronger person is just the fact that she was able to do all of this as she was raising me. She had me when she was 19 and she was able to be strong enough to continue high school and college. She didn’t have any help from anyone, she had some help by my dad’s mom. Her mom was never there for her at the young age … now she is. I remember so clearly a day when my mom was studying and I would ask to lay on her lap and listen to her recite words that were toooo advance for me to understand and I would just listen to her words until’ I fell asleep. She would study and continue going to her classes and still be my mother. She will be the one and only woman that I’ll look up to. She has been there for me through it all and I should give her more credit for it. Maybe I’ll just print out this entry and send it to her, just so she knows exactly how I feel. I just have absolutely no idea what I would do without her. She has always been there for me as a mom and a best friend and I want to be there for her too. When I was going through my great depression with the boyfriend, she was the only true person who would sit or lay down with me and listen to me cry. My mom is my ultimate best friend and as much as I was showing that “mom you have no idea what I’m going through” … deep down inside I knew that she does. She has overcome so much in life and I’m just so proud of her. I wish to tell her that every day. I’m really glad to have her as a mother (and I’m not just saying this because well .. everyone basically says this) and I never ever ever ever want her to EVER think that she “should” have done more for me because she has done enough and everything for me. I love her and by me being forced to live in a dorm to continue my education made me realize so much about her. I just wish I could rewind back to when I was younger again and actually appreciate that exact moment with her and I just wish when I was younger I was able to understand what she was doing to better my life and make me happy.

Experience.

September 8, 2008

Ever since I was little, I always loved to read. To this day, I see reading as an opportunity to become someone else. To escape my life and enter someone else’s for a brief moment. This past summer I read 8 books … and I have to say it was the most reading I have ever done over a summer. BUT then again the only reason why I read so many books was because a long relationship I was in abruptly ended and it was either 1. be depressed the whole summer and decay on my bed or 2. to do something and reading seemed to be the answer! .. but that’s besides the point. The books that I read were: Lucky Child, Go ask Alice, The other Boleyn girl, The Boleyn Inheritance, Twilight, New moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn (I love books by Stephanie Meyer if you haven’t noticed!) I made sure I didn’t read any books about love, romance, blah blah. I stuck to books that were about the Cambodian Genocide, a girl addicted to drugs, King Henry and his 5 wives (I think. I know he killed two of them..) and the twilight series had a tint of love, but mostly it was about vampires and YEAH … werewolves. The books were pretty diverse as far as topics and genres. Anyways! Continuing with my experience. So I love to read! I used to be scared of writing because during my freshman year in high school, I was always crying because my teachers were really tough graders, but through all of the crying and complaining that “I can’t write!” “this sucks”, I sucked it up and by my senior year I was placed in AP English, so basically all the hard work somewhat paid off. Being accepted to the AP course was a huge success for me and will be something that I will be proud of until’ I’m an old woman in a nursing home.

Jessica