Archive for October, 2008

Oh boys.

October 26, 2008

I love boys. I had this huge debate with my best friend Caitlin because I was explaining to her that basically since the day I was born I’ve always had a crush or interest in SOMEONE because .. I don’t know .. having someone on your mind or waking up with the thought that you know there’s a guy thinking about you .. makes life more interesting. Now, I’m not trying to say that I’m not independent or that I rely on guys to make me happy or that I can’t live without a guy, I’m not saying that at all. But honestly, I like to dress cute to have that guy look at me, there’s nothing wrong with that. Is it wrong of me to say that waking up with NO crush on someone or “eyes” on someone makes life kinda dull. I don’t know, maybe I’m just .. I don’t even know. My grandma has been single for YEARS and YEARS like  before I was even born she  was single and I don’t know how she does it. Don’t you feel lonely?

Anyways, I’ve been talking to this sophomore at Northeastern and oh.my.god. He is sooooo cute. No sexy. Has such a nice body and I’m into hot spanish guys right now which is bad because I mean, I’m spanish, but I was always taught from my parents to stay away from them because majority of them are players. My own dad, who is Dominican, tells me this and I mean … he’s a player .. to this day, so I can’t disagree with him. My parents are in their 30’s so I have young parents and my mom is married and my dad .. still goes clubbing in New york city and still associates with different women. I can not keep up with his girlfriends. It came to a point where I called one of his girlfriends the wrong name. So anways, back to the boy, so he’s Dominican as well and I KNOWW he’s a player. you can just tell these things and you would think that I would get this warning signal saying no no no jess! but yeah .. because he’s a bad boy makes me go for him even more and its horrible. We’re both playing games with each other. Like I WONT be the first to text or call him because I gotta play hard to get so he does, but when I respond to him he won’t get back until a couple hours acting “busy” and UGH stupid stupid stupid games. He has SO much game and half the time he’s spitting lines to me.. I’m LAUGHING soo hard asking myself if he’s being for real. He calls me mi amor and I mean COME ON .. who calls people that? thats so lame hahaha. But I’m so physically attracted to him that I just don’t care, but sooner or later I’ll just stop everything. This whole thing is entertaining me. I just need to be careful because I feel like every guy that I have met just want sex sex and .. oh, sex. There was one guy I met who tried to kiss me then and there and I was like uhmmm no. So many guys have asked for my number and I have guy friends who go to the universities that have had sex with sooo many girls already and .. love is dead. None of these guys want a relationship. dates. nothing. They just want sex and thats it. I just think sex is more enjoyable when you actually like the person. I mean, yeah I understand the thrill of having sex with someone who means nothing to you and one night stands, I KNOW. You have no strings attached and don’t have to answer to anyone, but after a while … it just gets old.

You know what I think is really really interesting.

How a guy can go around and mess with different girls and yet he is seen as “the man”

but when girls want to do the same exact thing just to have fun .. they are called “the whores”

I don’t understand. These rules and names that society creates confuse me.

oh college.

October 26, 2008

College has been stressing me out. I have to have C+ to stay in the nursing program and I’m just afraid that’s not going to happen because class averages in both chemistry and biology have been in the 60’s. I just wish school wasn’t so damn hard, but “life is hard” right? I hate the biology and chemistry because it’s just so vague to me and I’d rather just get right into WHAT I need to do when a patient is dying and WHAT I need to do in a hospital setting. I’m sorry but I don’t think I’ll be talking about Mendel’s cross pollination with plants to a patient or Hydrogen is a nonmetal that is located on the metal side of the periodic table … ugh. Those classes put me to sleep. I don’t want to be in them, but I’m gonna have to retake these courses if I don’t get that stupid C+ and I’ve been busting my bum to do well. I’ve been meeting with the teachers and I even got myself a tutor. I need to join something that helps me relax. I would join the yoga here but I refuse to pay 75 bucks to do the crouching warrior stance. I’m a member at the YMCA so I need to just find the closest YMCA. I heard there is one near northeastern? I don’t know.

Alot has been going on in my life.

I think I’m gonna start this new topic in a new entry because I feel like I’m behind with the entries. toodles for now.